Ask Dr Romance – by Mrs Figgins
- Free Advice & opinion on everyday issues – marriage, children, friendship, love, etiquette, politics & faith – dispensed by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

Archive for December, 2009

December 31, 2009

Immigrant wants to understand song “Auld Lang Syne”

New Years 249x300 Immigrant wants to understand song Auld Lang Syne
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

 
Dear Mrs. Figgins: 
Our family is from Czechoslovakia.  We’ve been in the America for 2 years. 
What is the New Year song “old land sign”? 
Igor, New York
 
Dear Igor:
On New Year’s Eve, the most common song for most English-speaking people to sing “Auld Lang Syne”, and old Scottish song first written down in the 1700s.  
Robert Burns is the person whose transcription got the most attention, so the song is associated with him. 
A good translation of the words “auld lang syne” is “times gone by.” 
When we sing this song, we are saying, “We’ll drink a cup of kindness yet for times gone by.”
It has long been associated with New Year’s celebrations and commonly played after folks in the United States (and around the world) watch the ball drop in New York’s “Times Square” .
Literally translated Auld Lang Syne means “Old Long Since,” “long, long ago” or “days gone by.”
Following are the words:

“Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old lang syne ?
CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
And surely you’ll buy your pint cup !
and surely I’ll buy mine !
And we’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
CHORUS
We two have run about the slopes,
and picked the daisies fine ;
But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,
since auld lang syne.
CHORUS
We two have paddled in the stream,
from morning sun till dine† ;
But seas between us broad have roared
since auld lang syne.
CHORUS
And there’s a hand my trusty friend !
And give us a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.” 
And now Igor to you and yours – and to all:   Happy New Year.  
May GOD blanket you and yours with countless blessings and much health. 
Mrs. Figgins
 
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Advice, Love, Topics

Kids worry about parents weight!

idealweight Kids worry about parents weight!
Weight & Health

 
Dear Mrs. Figgins:
We’re 14 years old and we live in Louisiana.  My brother and I are twins. We’re not overweight but my father and mother are.  We could be next.
They don’t exercise.  My dad has breathing problems, and my mom was just told she could develop diabetes someday.  There’s always a lot of junk food around the house
Our parents know they have to change their lifestyle.  As a New Year’s resolution, they promise to start walking a little each day and eat better.
One of my teachers told me about a chart that has to do with weight and height.  Do you know what that is?
We love my parents very much and want to help them.
Alyssa and Caleb
  
Dear Alyssa and Caleb:
I applaud you for caring about your parent’s health and wanting to help them.  Depending on how overweight your parents are, walking each day and a change in eating habits may be the beginning of a major life change for them.  Encourage them to stick with it.
  1. Start with small steps.
  2. Ask your parents to talk with your doctor first.  Your doctor can help you with healthy changes in your diet.
  3. Learn about foods.  Knowledge is power, and the right knowledge can lead you to a healthier body!
  4. Set meal schedules.  When you eat in a hurry and at odd times of day, you probably eat foods that are unhealthy, such as fast foods.
  5. Get unhealthy food  out of your house.   Replace junk foods with an apple, an orange, a banana, or other fresh fruits, and fresh vegetables such as raw carrots, celery, radishes, and so on.  Snack on these.
  6. Carry through with your plan for healthy eating; otherwise your effort will be lost.
You and your brother should follow healthy eating and physical activity habits to help prevent weight gain and keep you healthy over the years, even if you do not need to lose weight.
Health experts agree that you may gain health benefits from even a small weight loss if:
  • You are considered obese based on your body mass index (BMI) (see BMI chart below).
  • You are considered overweight based on your BMI and have weight-related health problems or a family history of such problems.
  • You have a waist that measures more than 40 inches if you are a man or more than 35 inches if you are a woman.
A weight loss of 5 to 7 percent of body weight may improve your health and quality of life, and it may prevent weight-related health problems, like type 2 diabetes. For a person who weighs 200 pounds, this means losing 10 to 14 pounds.
 Body Mass Index (BMI):
BMI is a tool that is often used to determine whether a person’s health is at risk due to his or her weight. It is a ratio of your weight to your height.
A BMI of 18.5 to 24.9 is considered healthy, a BMI of 25 to 29.9 is considered overweight, and a BMI of 30 or more is considered obese. You can find your BMI using the chart below, and you can also see the weight range that is healthy for your height.
BMI  19  20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 Weight
(Pounds)
Height (Inches)                                            
58 91 96 100 105 110 115 119 124 129 134 138 143 148 153 158 162 167 172 177 181 186 191
59 94 99 104 109 114 119 124 128 133 138 143 148 153 158 163 168 173 178 183 188 193 198
60 97 102 107 112 118 123 128 133 138 143 148 153 158 163 168 174 179 184 189 194 199 204
61 100 106 111 116 122 127 132 137 143 148 153 158 164 169 174 180 185 190 195 201 206 211
62 104 109 115 120 126 131 136 142 147 153 158 164 169 175 180 186 191 196 202 207 213 218
63 107 113 118 124 130 135 141 146 152 158 163 169 175 180 186 191 197 203 208 214 220 225
64 110 116 122 128 134 140 145 151 157 163 169 174 180 186 192 197 204 209 215 221 227 232
65 114 120 126 132 138 144 150 156 162 168 174 180 186 192 198 204 210 216 222 228 234 240
66 118 124 130 136 142 148 155 161 167 173 179 186 192 198 204 210 216 223 229 235 241 247
67 121 127 134 140 146 153 159 166 172 178 185 191 198 204 211 217 223 230 236 242 249 255
68 125 131 138 144 151 158 164 171 177 184 190 197 204 210 216 223 230 236 243 249 256 262
69 128 135 142 149 155 162 169 176 182 189 196 203 210 216 223 230 236 243 250 257 263 270
70 132 139 146 153 160 167 174 181 188 195 202 209 216 222 229 236 243 250 257 264 271 278
71 136 143 150 157 165 172 179 186 193 200 208 215 222 229 236 243 250 257 265 272 279 286
72 140 147 154 162 169 177 184 191 199 206 213 221 228 235 242 250 258 265 272 279 287 294
73 144 151 159 166 174 182 189 197 204 212 219 227 235 242 250 257 265 272 280 288 295 302
74 148 155 163 171 179 186 194 202 210 218 225 233 241 249 256 264 272 280 287 295 303 311
75 152 160 168 176 184 192 200 208 216 224 232 240 248 256 264 272 279 287 295 303 311 319
76 156 164 172 180 189 197 205 213 221 230 238 246 254 263 271 279 287 295 304 312 320 328
Source: Clinical Guidelines on the Identification, Evaluation, and Treatment of Overweight and Obesity in Adults, National Institutes of Health, National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute. 
May this coming year bring health and happiness to your family.
Mrs. Figgins
Relationship advice:   www.askdrromance.com

Advice, Children Issues, How To, Love

December 30, 2009

Father makes inappropriate pass at son’s girlfriend

 

1 unwanted copy Father makes inappropriate pass at sons girlfriend
UNWANTED.
 
Dear Mrs. Figgins:
My boyfriend invited me to dinner to meet his parents.
During the course of the evening, his father drank quite a bit.   There were a few minutes when we were ourselves in the kitchen.  He tried to kiss me.  I was shocked, and it has stressed me out considerably since that time.
I told my mother about the incident and she advises me to tell my boyfriend immediately.
Do you think I should?
Kathy M.
 
Dear Kathy:
Your mother is absolutely correct.    I also recommend that you do tell your boyfriend “immediately”.  He needs to have a talk with his family.
How he handles this will tell you a great deal on what you’re getting yourself into with him and the entire family.
Pay close attention.
Mrs. Figgins  
 
Relationship advice:   www.askdrromance.com 

Advice, Love, Relationships

Introducing gay partner to parents

Parents1 Introducing gay partner to parents
Meeting the parents!

 
Dear Mrs. Figgins:
I am 27, gay and recently came out to my family. 
I’ve never introduced anyone I have dated to my parents.  However, I am now in a committed relationship with Ted and ready to take the plunge.
My parents have been very supportive since I broke the news.  And it’s important to me that I make this as comfortable as possible for everyone.
Do you have any suggestions or advice on how to best approach this introduction?
William
 
Dear William:
You have lovely parents and the fact that you want to be sensitive to them says much about you.  Keep it up!
It’s important that the people whom you love get to know each other.
Take the time to share family stories and fond memories with Ted.  Tell him about your parent’s background, individual interests as well as particular dislikes.  Bring out the family album! 
Suggest that Ted bring Mom & Dad a nice hostess gift (it’s  a nice touch).  
In turn, tell your Mom and Dad about Ted.
Timing is important.  Your mother can help you with some optional times for your first get together.
By the sounds of it, I am certain this meeting will turn out just fine, William.
Mrs. Figgins
 
Relationship advice:   www.askdrromance.com

Advice, Etiquette, How To, Love

December 29, 2009

Cash in lieu of more traditional wedding gifts

Cash for gifts 300x209 Cash in lieu of more traditional wedding gifts

Cash Gifts

 
Dear Mrs. Figgins:
My fiancé and I are getting married.  Money is pretty tight.
Do you think it’s proper for us to ask for money in lieu of gifts?
Diane & Richard, UK
 
Dear Diane & Richard:
It is becoming acceptable for couples to ask for money as a wedding gift. 
This said, my advice is that you be quite clear in stating what the money will be spent on, so that those who do contribute cash in lieu of more traditional gifts feel that they’re helping towards something specific and worthwhile.
“Nearly Married” is an online gift service in the UK which gives you the opportunity to customize gifts of money with your own gift name, description, price and picture.
Many Congratulations!
Mrs. Figgins
 
Relationship Advice:  www.askdrromance.com

Advice, Etiquette, How To, Love, Relationships

December 27, 2009

Boyfriends has penchant for strip clubs

 

deja vu copy Boyfriends has penchant for strip clubs

Déjà vu? Bye-bye to you!

 
Dear Mrs. Figgins: 
I overheard one of my co-workers invite my boyfriend Danny to an all-nude strip club.  Without one ounce of hesitation he responded “heck yeah!”. 
When I tried to talk with Danny about it, he got very defensive and didn’t want to discuss it with me, saying I was “paranoid”.
This is not his first, second, third or even fourth time he’s gone down this slimy road.   Actually we broke up before over this very issue.  We broke up and I was adjusting to life without him when he came begging for us to get back, swearing off clubs.  I took him back and have given it my all.   
I don’t want to overreact but this sure isn’t setting well with me. 
I’m afraid that it’s  déjà vu all over again.
 Jeri,  LV
 
Dear   Jeri: 
You’re not overreacting.    
Danny’s penchant is not a good sign, and a pattern you don’t want to take into marriage. 
Give your heart a rest on this one and think long and hard with your brain. 
If it’s “déjà vu all over again”,  I suggest “you go!”.  This time for good.
Mrs. Figgins
 
Relationship advice:    www.askdrromance.com

Advice, Love, Relationships

December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas to all – and to all…a good night.

Merry Christmas to all Mrs Merry Christmas to all   and to all...a good night.

GOD’S blessings to you and yours.

 

Mrs. Figgins

Relationship advice:  www.askdrromance.com

Advice, Children Issues, Faith, Favorite Finds, Love, One Village, Topics

December 24, 2009

Twas the night before Christmas – I sprang to see what was the matter?

 

Not a creature was stirring - not even a mouse!
Not a creature was stirring – not even a mouse!
 
Throughout this week Mrs. Figgins will share a few of the most loved poems and stories of the Christmas season.   
Next installment shown below.
From our family to yours,
Merry Christmas and Wishes for a Blessed New Year!
Mrs. Figgins & Family
 
Clement Clarke Moore (1779 – 1863) wrote the poem “Twas the night before Christmas” (also called “A Visit from St. Nicholas” in 1822.   
Mr. Moore came from a prominent family and his father Benjamin Moore was the Bishop of New York who was famous for officiating at the inauguration of George Washington.
It has long become the tradition in many American families to read the poem every Christmas Eve – and has redefined the image of Christmas and even Santa Claus.
Before the creation of the story of “Twas the night before Christmas”, St. Nicholas, the patron saint of children, had never been associated with a sleigh or reindeers!
The author of the poem “Twas the night before Christmas” was a reticent man and it is believed that a family friend, Miss H. Butler, sent a copy of the poem to the New York Sentinel who published the poem.
The condition of publication was that the author of “Twas the night before Christmas” was to remain anonymous.
The first publication date was 23rd December 1823 and it was an immediate success.
It was not until 1844 that Clement Clarke Moore claimed ownership when the work was included in a book of his poetry.
 

Twas the night before Christmas

by Clement Clarke Moore

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
“Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!”
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes — how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.”
 
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